While Ryan was cooking dinner the other night, I looked over and saw him taking photos to document the process himself. I’m so proud.
Guest post #2. Recipe time.
It’s important to begin every cooking excursion with a nice meditative mantra. I yell that at the top of my lungs… oh, 20, 30 times depending on the temperature and time of day.
BBQ sauce isn’t hard to make. Not like Hannah Montana (am I right, blonde wig? Oh man, who thinks up such genius???). It is, obviously, a personal preference, though. Like whether you like Sting or the Police more. (I was gonna go with Wings vs. the Beatles, but even having that debate made the two sides of my brain come to instant agreement that no debate needs to take place (Why, Paul, why!?!).
It’s a honey BBQ… Which I admit sounds like a pet name… and the recipe is going to vary depending on how much, exactly, you feel is necessary to make. Is it just you dining tonight? A bucket, therefore, isn’t needed, unless you don’t cook the chicken properly.
–1/2 stick of butter in a sauce pan.
–Join it with around 1/2 cup ketchup (or catsup).
One time I worked for a chef in a fine dining restaurant as a waiter, and I’m known to be something of a joker. Anyone who’s ever worked in a kitchen knows that people can get… pissy… being next to a hot stove all day. And this guy was next to one his whole life, so his temperament was not the type to be approached. And he tells us the specials one night, and says “any questions?” so I said “yeah, I have one,” and everyone looks at me, him without blinking which was intimidating, like when the raptor in Jurassic Park pops out of the bushes, and I asked him “what exactly IS the difference between ketchup and catsup, really?” I can’t tell you what he said, but it wasn’t nice.
–Add 1/4 cup of honey to that bad boy.
–A clove or two of garlic (pressed preferred, minced is fine… see past lesson if you’re confused on mincing).
–Hefty spoonful of paprika, crushed red pepper, small spoon of onion power, couple dashes of soy or worchester sauce. One of them is needed, but will both impact differently the favor, so experiment a little bit like they did in the 60s, just not with psychedelics.
–Heat all of this gunk on a stove top, stirring until the butter melts and it gets all steamy. Then, refrigerate for a couple hours if you can so it thickens up.
–The sauce isn’t meant to be spicy, unless you want it to be, so flavor it to your own taste preference. I like it sweet. Deal.
Onto your chicken, and a lesson in how to bread it.
–Pound flat a couple of breasts. Take out your day’s aggression here. That guy cut you off on your drive home? Kids won’t shut up? Political pundits telling you why they’re right at HIGH VOLUME? Neighbors blasting that punk rock hip hop jazz fusion? Or maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed? The chicken is calling to you…
–Get 3 separate plates. Handful of flour on one, handful of bread crumbs on another, and crack an egg or two on the last.
–Your beat-down chicken needs a bath in the egg.
–Your eggy chicken needs to be antiqued in the flour.
–Coat a little more egg on the chicken, and smear it all over the bread crumbs. Boom.
–On a flat pan, spray a little bit of olive oil.
–Fry up that breaded chicken til it’s fully cooked and nice and crispy.
–Get out a few wraps (whatever you like, man– I’m eating what I like and frankly you should, too).
–Slice up the chicken into strips, place on 1/3 of the wrap.
–Spread crumbled bleu cheese (not the dressing) on the chicken. A decent amount. don’t have a field day, here.
–Take that cooled BBQ sauce you prepared earlier (and pat yourself on the back) and spread as much as you think you want all over the chicken.
–Wrap up your meal as tightly as you can without shredding the wrap itself.
–Clean off that flat pan you used to fry the chicken with, dry it, and set it back on the stove.
–After you do that, place the wraps here. Turn them periodically until all sides are toasted (the toasting of which should seal the wrap itself shut, though a piece of advice would be to take a small bit of that egg you cracked and just dab the edge of the wrap as you close it, so that will cook and keep it from opening all over your freshly pressed polyesters when you go to take a bite).
atatoes are real easy to cook. but not to spell.
–Little red taters, cut in half.
–Coat lightly a flat cookie tray with olive oil.
–Sprinkle decent amount of garlic powder and a small amount of paprika all over tray.
–Place taters cut-side down on tray.
–Trickly olive oil on skin of taters.
–Cook 350-400 for 10-17 minutes.
Boom. Literally took 3 minutes to prepare, and when done right OOOOOEEE they taste good. But, I’m Irish and Dutch, so potatoooes and me? We get along.