So Much Me.

I woke up this morning to an e-mail that made me realize I’m no longer eligible for College Jeopardy.

Rough start.

Folks, it’s out there. At the top of this site, you can now find everything you need to know about me. My résumé, prior writing, travels, work… Everything you need, because I’d like a job.

Klout analyzed my Tweets the other day. They put in me the “Focused and Consistent” box, calling me a Specialist that influences 1,000 people.

“You may not be a celebrity, but within your area of expertise, your opinion is second to none. Your content is likely focused around a specific topic or industry, with a focused, engaged audience.”

Well, that’s all well and good.

Klout believes you are influential about 3 topics:

Travel & Tourism.

Cookies.

Cereal.

YES! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

I’ve been blogging since December 2008 but I started this one in May 2011 as a way to escape the writings of the college-angsty, nervous, rather whiney form of myself. It did have some pretty good poetry.

Had I known this site would get the momentum it has, I might have thought harder about the title before ripping off a 1998 movie with a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer rating of 68%.

I do however enjoy that “nae” is slang for no somewhere. Welcome to You’ve Got Nothing.

Being a blogger is weird. I’ve shared this before – “Look at my life. I’m a nobody, but I think you’ll enjoy this.”

Right now I’m drinking coffee and I Love Lucy is playing in the background. You did want to share this moment with me, right?

It’s embracing “If the world knew this about me, that’s alright.”

If my parents knew this about me, they’ll let me in the house.

If that stranger over there knew this about me, they don’t know too much.

If future employers knew this about me, I’m employable.

If future first dates knew this about me, I’m datable.

Anyone that goes on a first date with me has a huge advantage. They can find everything they need to know to make a good first impression. That’s why a recent first date that boiled down to “I write – travel – volunteer” had me thinking “Oh, you’re messing with me.”

I mean, he wasn’t. But he could have been.

My girlfriends at school were all very strong leaders. Orientation leaders, resident advisors, organization presidents, co-chairs of event X. We kept ourselves very busy.

We’d always giggle about visits home. Not knocking my family – I have the best, most supportive family I could imagine… But you know, there’s always one in the bunch.

“So, Janae… no… dating?

I mean, I don’t not date.

“But no one to bring home?”

Yes, I realize I’m surrounded by cousins’ significant others. I bring everything to the table except someone to bring to the table. Let me tell you about the record number of community service hours I just did.

There is nothing more comical and nerdy than having a résumé that tries to scream “I’m good at communicating!” while at the same time telling your uncle the reason you’re single has nothing to do with whether or not I “know how to talk to guys.” You can’t really break out “Guess how many Twitter/WordPress/Facebook followers I have” as a good defense.

Side note, best question ever: “Do you give guys the vibe they can’t touch you?”

Hah! No, there’s no vibe.

Post-It note on my back, maybe.

All said with a giggle, not a single complaint. But that’s all neither here nor there. Here now is everything you need to know to give me the controls to your social media accounts, advertising accounts, news stories, photography assignments…

I love social media. I love that, after Alex Trebek’s people told me I’m too old for College Jeopardy, another e-mail told me an account manager at an advertising agency in the exact town I ate dinner in Tuesday night started following me on Twitter.

And they’re hiring.

What’s online is forever, but I’m committed to being out there. Like my old friend Kim Possible says, “Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me.”

Thanks for being here, all of you. I’m off for the day.

I have to go find some kids to freelance babysit.

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